Donald Trump’s Kink is Firing Black Women
Even when he can't get it up. (By "it" I mean the legal standing.)
Before I get started today, let’s make a few things clear. President of The United States of America Donald John Trump is an adjudicated rapist and 34-time convicted felon. President of The United States of America Donald John Trump was convicted of so much fraud in New York that he isn’t allowed to run a business there until 2027. President of The United States of America Donald John Trump was forced to give two million dollars to several New York charities to make up for the fact that Trump had stolen FROM HIS OWN CHARITY! Despite all this crime-ing in public, Trump has not spent a day in jail, has not ever even admitted fault or shown a hint of shame, and (OF COURSE) has made no attempt at restitution or restorative justice. Therefore, it is no surprise that this same “President” would order the National Guard to invade Washington D.C., based on nothing but his wanting to try out being a dictator.
Also remember that Trump never called in The National Guard to D.C. when there were literal insurrectionists insurrect-ing. To be fair, that would have meant Trump calling The National Guard on himself which would have admittedly been very awwwwwkward.
The point of me bringing all this up is to remind you all of exactly who we are dealing with. President of The United States of America Donald John Trump is a complete and total failure as a human being. The fact that Trump has gotten away with all of this rampant and unfettered criminality–and has actually enriched through this type of behavior–seems to have made him feel like he can turn his malignant charlatan knob all the way up to eleven.
Trump is an unrestrained firehose of bad ideas, federal crimes, and uncontrollable urges. Trump should be in a home somewhere eating pudding and exhausting lowpaid caretakers with his opinions on Sydney Sweeney and Cracker Barrel, but instead he is exhausting the country of its wealth and democracy and still giving us his opinions on Sydney Sweeney and Cracker Barrel. With whatever time he has left over, he indulges in his favorite activity: firing people.
We all know that Trump became nouveaux famous for firing people on his NBC reality show, The Apprentice. He clearly took great pleasure in firing people, but I didn’t realize at the time that the pleasure was hitting the level of a kink. Look, I’m not trying to kink shame. I just think he is practicing his firing kink on unwilling (and inappropriate) participants. When we finally get those Epstein files, I believe that in addition to all the awful and certainly illegal behavior in which he engaged, we are also going to find out that Epstein brought him women that he could fire to his (two-sizes-too-small) heart’s content. And based on what we have seen this year from Trump, I’m betting a lot of those women were Black.
It is obvious that Trump thinks that as the president that he has the power to fire everyone. But that is simply not true. Donald Trump can’t fire YOU. (I’m talking to YOU, the “you” who is reading this now.) You cannot be fired by President Donald Trump… unless it explicitly says so in your job description or your hiring documents. Go check your job description or hiring documents right now, if you want. I’ll wait.
Manager of a Starbucks? Nope, he can’t fire you.
Cloud Architect at Silicon Valley tech company? Nope.
Executive Director of a nonprofit? Ermmm… He can’t fire you but he can cut your federal funding, fundamentally crippling your ability to do your job. But at least Trump didn’t pull the trigger himself! (Small victories.)
See, bad man can’t fire you. I told you.
Of course, when I say “Trump can’t fire YOU.”, it is possible that some of you are federal employees. But even then, for most of you, Trump would have to tell your boss to fire you. Trump doesn’t really have the explicit power to fire YOU. Weirdly, throughout the history of this country, most presidents have actually enjoyed not having to be in charge of everybody. They knew that they had more important shit to do. They didn’t want to be President of the United States of America annnnnd also the Head of the United States of America’s Human Resources Department. According to that old, dusty, musty, crusty document called the United States Constitution, the President can only fire a small group of people. Here is the list of the people he can fire willy-nilly.
Members of the Cabinet – Makes sense. Those are his Leonardo DiCaprio style posse.
Heads of Federal Departments – That’s how we lost superstar Antitrust Division Head Lina Khan, who was popular on both sides of the aisle. WHO WOULD WANT THAT? Read more about her in my chapter of the New York Times Bestselling book Who Is Government?: The Untold Story of Public Service
White House staff – From secretaries to cooks to janitors to Omarosa to someone as meaningless as Vice President Jiminy DeCricket Vance
Aside from those positions, there are other jobs that the President is technically in charge of, but it would be a horrible look to fire (or bully) those people out of their jobs. For example, it would be super ugly if Trump fired someone on the National Labor Relations Board or if he fired someone from a job outside of day-to-day-politics like the Librarian of Congress.
Welp, Trump has fired exactly those people, even though he shouldn’t really have the power (or the fucking chutzpah) to do so. Both the people he pushed out are Black women: Gwynne Wilcox and Carla Hayden, respectively. Both were the first Black women to ever have those jobs. Read that last sentence again if it didn’t make you angry enough the first time.
Trump has also used his power to have one of his cronies –ex-CNN squawking head Ed Martin– to urge New York City Attorney General Letiticia James to resign. Again, Trump has zero power of over her job and it is completely anti-democracy that the president would use his influence of her. Remember when Republicans were all about small government and states’ rights?
“Why would Trump want NYAG Letiticia James to resign?,” you ask. Well, Ms. James was the person who won the charity fraud case against Trump, annnnnnd she is … (say it with me now) the first Black woman to have her job.
Literally, I took a break from writing this to help with dinner and put my kids to bed AND TRUMP FIRED THE WOMAN (Susan Moneraz) WHO HAS BEEN THE HEAD OF THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION FOR LESS THAN A MONTH AHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Kamau puts his head in a bucket and breathes deep breaths.*
Funny enough, at first someone from the Trump administration tried to fire Moneraz, but she said that only the president had the authority to fire her. Then Trump fired her. I’m guessing that he wasn’t initially that into firing her… since she is not a Black woman.
But wait. There’s more!
This year, Trump also fired General C.Q. Brown. General Brown was the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He was the chairman for less than two years. This is notable because not only does the tenure of the Chairman of the Joint Chief Staff generally (pun intended) last through different presidencies (no matter the president’s political party), but also the tenures of the last SIXTEEN chairmen have lasted more than three years. The only one who did not last more than three years was pushed out by George W. Bush, the president who appointed him. And oh yeah, General Brown is Black.
This week in particular is turning into a referendum on how much firing power (real or imaginary) Trump has. We just went over who a president is allowed to fire. But we have seen that Trump doesn’t give a gold plated shit about what he is legally allowed to do. For the third week in a row, as I type this, our nation’s capital, Washington D.C., is under siege from our own military and have recruited the DC police into their illegal militia.
In the midst of this, Trump has been beefing with Jerome Powell, the chair of the Federal Reserve. The chair of the federal reserve has a four year term and can serve multiple terms. The chairman of the Federal Reserve serves a four-year term that stretches between presidential terms because everyone thought it would be a good idea to make sure that the guy in charge of our economy isn't another DiCaprio posse member. You want that person to be independent from the whims and whines of the president. Despite all that, Trump did nominate Powell in the first place, so he should be cool with Powell.
Nope!
There has been talk of Trump wanting to fire Powell –again Trump has no power to fire Powell– but Trump doesn’t have the stones to do that yet… So how does Trump fluff himself up as he gets ready to fire Powell? He fires a . . . . Black woman.
Or at least he tries to fire one.
Depending on the news source you pay attention to, Trump either wants to fire Lisa Cook, has already fired Lisa Cook (of course that is from Fox News), or is going to the Supreme Court to change the law so he can officially have the power to fire Lisa Cook.
Who is Lisa Cook?
She is a Black woman who is a member of the Federal Reserve Board of Governors. And in line with Trump’s favorite kink, Lisa Cook is the first Black woman to be a member of the board of Governors.
Unfortunately for Trump, (For my white readers, I’m about to go real Black for a lil’ bit.)
TRUMP HAS GOT LISA COOK ALL FUCKED UP! SHE AIN’T THE ONE. NOT TODAY. NOT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, NEPHEW!
Ms. Cook didn’t respond like that to Trump, although I’m sure she could if she wanted to. Ms. Cook said.
“President Trump purported to fire me ‘for cause’ when no cause exists under the law, and he has no authority to do so. I will not resign. I will continue to carry out my duties to help the American economy as I have been doing since 2022.”
—Lisa Cook, CURRENT member of the Federal Reserve Board of Governors
As I said, Trump has got Lisa Cook all fucked up.
Ms. Cook has made it crystal clear that she is not going to be forced to resign. Since Trump does not actually have the power to fire her, she has no reason not to continue to show up everyday and do her job. To put it plainly. He ain’t Voldermort, or Beetlejuice, or the Candyman, and therefore she can say his name as many times as she wants to. Because Ms. Cook ain’t scurred. She is in fact suing him over his trying to fire her. Her first court hearing on the matter is TODAY.
The "cause" for which Trump thinks he can fire her is an issue not worth mentioning when the person attempting the firing is a 34-time convicted felon and adjudicated rapist. Again… REMEMBER WHO WE ARE DEALING WITH HERE!
Like all bad poker players, Trump is showing his hand. Oh, so in this one instance of Lisa Cook’s paperwork, NOW YOU ARE SUDDENLY WORRIED ABOUT THE LAW, TRUMP? Trump only cares about one law: the law of Trump. Even he knows that sounds dictator-ish (dictator-esque?), so earlier this week Trump decided to allay our fears.
“Lotta people are saying, ‘Maybe we’d like a dictator.’ I don’t like a dictator. I’m not a dictator. I’m a man with great common sense, and I’m a smart person. And when I see what’s happened to our cities, and then you send in troops. Instead of being praised, they’re saying, ‘You’re trying to take over the republic.’ These people are sick.”
Are your fears properly allayed?
Though again, Trump gave the game away. Only dictators want to be praised.
Think of all the presidents throughout our history who openly talked about wanting to be praised. Are there any? Nixon wanted to be loved. That’s different. (And much sadder.) But “praised” is a whole different ball of toupee wax. Not even the great Republican President, Abraham Lincoln, wanted praise.
“I freed all those slaves and all I got was a penny, a five dollar bill, a statue in Washington D.C., and some boring ass log toys, but no praise.”
— Not President Abraham Lincoln
Praise is what dictators want. In the parlance of the commercial real estate world that Trump was so repeatedly bad at, what we are experiencing these days is Trump’s soft opening of his dictatorship. Trump is seeing how we feel about it. How we like the look of America as a dictatorship. In the classic parlance of the world of an abusive romantic partner, a world that Trump has had “success” in, Trump is trying to make us think that his turn into a full-on dictator is our idea and not his.
Do me a favor. Watch the following clip, and take that energy with you into your next week. This is a grandpa who has had enough.
Spread the word on Substack and on social media about Lisa Cook and anyone else who is standing-up to Trump, like gramps, here. The least we can do is broadcast examples of who is on the correct side of history and who understands the assignment.
Who’s with me and grandpa?
Yup! My Stand-Up Comedy Tour is Still on Sale
WKB Recommends
The Majority Report & Rational National
I talked a good bit on my Substack Live for the paid subscribers about alternative news sources. I mentioned these being two of my favorites. Both Majority Report and Rational National post throughout the day on Youtube, so you won’t have to worry about missing major news stories. Both programs are coming from the left, can be funny, and fired up.
Majority Report on decoding Gavin Newsom and California redistricting
Rational National on Illinois Governor J. B. Pritzker standing up to Trump.
Two Magnum Opus-es (Opii?)
I have long raved about YouTube as a place brimming with creativity and artistic innovation. Two longform pieces fropped this week that reaffirmed my love of Youtube and how the freedom allows people to do what they want. These are both long, but you don’t have to watch them in one sitting. Also you can just listen to them if you want.
Lindsay Ellis on why Ms. Rachel is being labeled an antisemite by some when she is just being empathetic.
The person only known as Elephant Graveyard has really nailed why the Rogansphere sucks so hard. He is done a few videos about his subject, but he keeps digging deeper and topping himself. This is the latest.
Thank you for what you do! You may be the only one who can write about all the dangerous nonsense happening and make it enjoyable to read. I know that sounds weird but pure outrage without a sense of humor is exhausting.
Yep, it is indeed his kink. Trump cannot keep me from living with elegant, authentic, and intentional integrity. And no one steals my joy!