The October Surprise is That Donald Trump is Still a Piece of Sh*t

Yet Kamala Harris Still Might Lose

Earlier this week yet another news story broke that confirms the fact that ex-President Donald Trump sucks on the level of Biblical plagues. Was it the story where he reiterated his desire to destroy the Department of Education? Or the story where we found out that his proposed economic plan would bankrupt social security in SIX YEARS? Nope! Is it the one that features John Kelly, Trump’s former chief of staff? You know, the guy who was supposed to get Trump to be less Trumpy and behave like a president? Am I referring to the fact that Kelly told the press that he believes Trump is the “definition of a fascist” and that Trump admires Adolph Hitler? Sigh. I thought it was that story until a new one broke as I was writing this newsletter.

Donald Trump practicing his dictator dance in front of a “Deport Illegals” sign on October 11th, 2024. (Photo by RJ Sangosti/The Denver Post)

The breaking news I’m referring to is about ex-model Stacey Williams. She has come forward to tell her story of how Trump groped her in 1993. This happened while she was on a date with one of Trump’s good friends… wait for it… Jeffrey Epstein.

Models Georgianna Robertson, Stacey Williams, Rebecca Romijn, Jule Campbell, Valeria Mazza and Tyra Banks stand at a Sports Illustrated promotional event January 23, 1996 in New York City. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Liaison)

Sadly, the fact that Trump is being accused of sexual assault again should only surprise you if you just woke up from your Rip Van Winkle nap that began in 1972. FRED TRUMP’S STUPID SON IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT? I’m going back to sleep.

There are fewer than two weeks until election day in the United States of America. Recently, somebody asked me if I was nervous. There are currently so many things to be nervous about I didn't immediately answer. Because even though I was sure that the answer was “YES, I”M NERVOUS!”, I wanted to find out which thing I was answering “YES!” to. If science invented a pill that would allow me to lose consciousness for two weeks while still living up to my responsibilities as a parent, delivering me back to full consciousness on the day after the election, I would take that pill. I made this joke the other day, and someone pointed out that it’s optimistic to think we’ll have results the day after the election. And while that is true, at least it would be a new thing to be nervous about

If your social media these days is anything like mine, then you are also seeing politically charged (and politically poisonous) social media shots fired from the left, right, and those weirdos who pretend to be in the “center.” It is bigger and uglier than a regular civil war. It is more personal and bitter than Hatfields vs. McCoys. This is Hatfields vs. Hatfields and McCoys vs. McCoys. And I’m not judging. I’m doing a fair share of this myself. I’m just trying to keep mine charged and not poisonous… mostly.

There are people I love and respect – people who I have turned to for advice and whose work I have shared widely – who are publicly, proudly, and defiantly saying that they will not vote for Vice President Kamala Harris for president. Mostly, they say they will not vote for her because she has not promised any significant action to try to stop Israel’s war on Gaza. And I have to admit that those people are correct about that. And wouldn’t dare disagree, even if I did actually disagree, because many of those people have family and loved ones in Palestine. Of course, VP Harris has said many things about working day and night for a ceasefire, but there is nothing any of us can point to that proves it.

There are other people who I love and respect – people who I have turned to for advice and whose work have shared widely – who are publicly, proudly, and defiantly saying that they will vote for Vice President Kamala Harris for president. They support her in spite of also hating her stance on Gaza, because they can’t in good conscience sit back and allow Donald Trump one more bite at the dictator apple.

Again, these aren’t just regular yahoos on both sides of this issue. Many of these people who are publicly and bravely advocating for their side are the acknowledged backbone of the Democratic Party: Black women. As we all know, Black women vote Democratic at a significantly higher percentage than everybody else. Despite the media acting otherwise, Black men are number two behind them. But there is a schism right now that I can’t remember seeing before – highly educated, highly politicized, forever left-leaning Black women who are disagreeing about one Black woman. If I was Kamala Harris, that would scare the shit out of me. 

Black women are supposed to be her base. In fact Black, women are supposed to be the base of her base. But when I look at the Black women I follow on social media, there are a significant number of them who feel like Kamala being a Black woman, who is supporting a genocide, makes them go from a “no” vote to a “HELL NO!” vote. They feel like saying “no” to the United States of America continuing to fund the death of innocent, defenseless people is way more important than the identity politics of a “first Black and South Asian woman president.”

On the other side of the same coin, there are Black women who know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a second Trump presidency will lead to more unnecessary American deaths.  It happened during his first term and it would happen during a second term. And a higher percentage of those deaths will be this country’s most impacted people: poor folks, indigenous folks, people of color, and Black people. Black women’s maternal mortality rates in this country are more than twice as high a white women. That will undoubtedly get worse under Trump.

Earlier this week, the full force of the Democratic Party was out in Detroit, Michigan. That makes perfect sense, because Michigan is a valuable swing state in the leftover slaveholder math that we call the electoral college. The Dems brought ex-President Barack Obama to do his best Kyra Sedgwick impression. They even managed to get Reverse Kid Rock, Eminem, to introduce the ex-Prez. But there was something missing. If VP Harris and the Dems were really serious about winning Michigan, they would have had Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib speak. Or they could have invited her sister, Layla Elabed, from the Uncommitted Movement. They needed Palestinian voices on that stage, especially in the Arab stronghold of Michigan. Arab Americans have been committed Democrats for years. It feels to me that instead of courting their base, they are hoping that trumpeting the endorsements of the Cheneys will pull in some of these ephemeral “moderate Republicans” we keep hearing about. I’m guessing that the pursuit of those votes also motivated VP Harris’ recent mealy-mouthed answer on gender affirming healthcare.

At this point this “moderate republican” demographic seems more like urban legend than reality. The Democrats might as well go after the Slenderman vote. And I just can’t with Dick Cheney. If Dick Cheney told me that he liked my pants, I’d probably take them off immediately and walk around in my tighty whities for the rest of the day.

And that’s not all we have to deal with until Election Day.

There’s the ugliness of the people who think Kamala isn’t Black, because her father is Jamaican. Some people have decided to go one step further by claiming they believe her father is white. Thanks so much for giving that more oxygen, Janet Jackson.

And there are the third party candidates. Look, I love Cornel West like I could play him in a school play, but I also understand that if you vote for him or any other third party candidate, that is a protest vote at best. If you are fine with that, then GREAT. And if you live in California, New York, or another reliably blue state, even better. I know many of my fellow Californians are going the third party direction. Under the tyranny of the electoral college, that is an understandable choice.

Then of course there are the Trump voters. I certainly accept that a significant percentage of them aren’t really paying attention to politics. They just see Trump being “funny” on TV and pretending to work at a McDonald’s, and they see VP Harris being slightly awkward regularly, and they just think, “I like the cut of his jib! I’m voting for Trump!” 

This jib? October 20, 2024 (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

But then there’s the hardcore Trumpers who make up a huuuuuuuge part of his base.

*heavy sigh*

There’s a phrase I remember hearing when I was a child. I can’t remember if it was from my dad or mom or both. I think it is the kindest way that I can describe Trump voters at this point. They wouldn’t know how to pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. That’s as charitable as I can be. Remember, I’m trying to keep things “charged” and not “poisonous.”

Anyway, if science doesn’t release that pill before the election, I’m with you. And I hope you’re with me. Once this election is over, let’s commit to one thing that we can all agree on: tearing down the electoral college, racist brick by racist brick.

Until then, watch this short video from Josh Healey and Sammy Obeid, a couple of friends of mine, that sums this all up pretty well. And make a voting plan up and down the ticket. If not, we’re fucked.

You’re With Me

Some updates before you go:

Northern California People,
Stand-Up Tickets are on Sale Now!

Well, it’s official. I guess I’m back!

I’m making my OFFICIAL return to stand-up comedy on Friday, November 8 in Davis, CA at 7:30pm. Yup, that’s the Friday AFTER the election! Gets your tickets before they sell out.

October Office Hours: Premiere Party w/ Surprise Special Guest

Paid subscribers, save the date! On Tuesday October 29th from 3 - 4pm PT / 6pm - 7pm ET we’re meeting on Zoom to celebrate the release of a new documentary short I directed. And we’ll be joined by a special guest, the star of this new project. If you aren’t already a paid subscriber, you can upgrade to get the zoom link and join our conversation:

You Can Virtually Attend the San Quentin Film Festival

Last week I got to talk with TMZ about the first ever San Quentin Film Festival and highlight the talented filmmakers working inside the San Quentin Rehabilitation Center. For the next FOUR DAYS you can participate in the virtual film festival! Through 10/29 everyone can stream short films made by currently and formerly incarcerated filmmakers. These films are powerful, entertaining, and unlike anything you’ve seen. Don’t miss out!