The sizzle…
Kristi Noem was fired yesterday. At least that what many headlines told me. Once I dug into the headlines, I—and many others—found out that she wasn’t really FIRED fired. She was kicked upstairs, as they say in corporate America. Although, you will have a hard time convincing me that this isn’t a demotion if not a “kick” all the way down to the basement. Her title went from the august sounding United States Secretary of The Department of Homeland Security to… (reads notes) Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas. It sounds like she is Captain America’s new kid sidekick, but not in a Chris Evans Captain America film. This sounds like they made another Captain America flick staring J. D. Salinger’s son. (Yes, there was a Captain America movie with J. D. Salinger’s son playing Captain America.)
MAGA is going out their way to convince us all that this is part of a plan that was never shared with us. Kinda like how Elon Musk only DOGE’ing for 130 days was a part of THE PLAN. Dan Bongino going from podcast host to Co-Deputy Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and back to podcast host in less than a year was also part of THE PLAN. Kinda like Kid Rock poorly lip-syncing during his pre-recorded and pretend Super Bowl Halftime show was THE PLAN!
When I first saw the news about Kristi Noem’s new plan yesterday, I reacted the way that my religion taught me to react: with pettiness.
I posted this picture on my Instagram account and went about my day. When I returned, minutes later, I had many comments that laughed along with me, but several that pointed out, “THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS! THE NEXT PERSON WILL BE WORSE!”
I’m not here to argue about whether or not it is funny. Humor is subjective. Humor, like beauty, is the eye (or the ear) of the beholder. But I wholeheartedly reject the idea that we can’t find humor in Kristi Noem’s (or any other of Trump’s goons’) misadventures, trials and tribulations, failures, reversals, calamities, minor setbacks, and full-on catastrophes. If Ohio’s most creepy and suspicious Representative Jim Jordan loses twenty dollars off of his Washington, D.C. apartment’s security deposit when he moves, I AM CELEBRATING! I guarantee you kidnapped Africans were laughing in the belly of the ship every time they heard a British human trafficker cry out from stubbing their toe.
We can laugh and still take down fascism. I promise you. In fact, some of us need the petty laughter to fuel our anti-fascist machines. And yes, Trump’s choice to replace Kristi Noem is Senator Markwayne Mullin… a man whose name sounds like a bad guy in a Steven Seagal movie that could double feature with the Captain America movie I just pitched. Markwayne (Yes, he spells it like that FOR REAL.) sounds like the name of one of those movie villains who owns an entire southern town because he’s an asbestos magnate. Markwayne’s life would be perfect if his daughter would just stop hanging out the Roadhouse.
There are many reasons why Trump would want to choose Markwayne for the job. Markwayne is a MAGA stooge through and through. But I’m guessing that Markwayne recently jumped up to the top of Trump’s potential future scapegoats when he did this at Trump’s State of the (dis)Union.
Yup, Markwayne Mullin, a white man, tried to take a sign out of Texas Representative Al Green’s hands. (I don’t have to tell you that Al Green is Black. His name is Al Green.) The sign was protesting a racist image of Barack and Michelle Obama that was posted to one of Trump’s official social media accounts. I’m guessing that Markwayne’s willingness to commit an act of public racism in defense of Trump’s racism won him the job.
The word on the street is that Kristi Noem sealed her own fate when she said, under oath, that Trump had approved the budget for her publicity campaign.
KRISTI NOEM SPENT 220 MILLION DOLLARS ON HER SIZZLE REEL!
WHAT THE DOGE IS GOING ON??? Trump must have been mad. Only he is allowed to grift the government like that.
While I am sure that Noem’s vulgar display of plutocracy was a factor in getting her the boot, I’m going to give another group of people some major credit in this: the people of Minnesota.
Today, I’m releasing Episode 7 of my maybe never-ending series, I SPENT 3 DAYS IN MINNEAPOLIS. There are so many lessons for the rest of us to learn from how Minnesotans showed up for each other in the face of ICE and rest of Trump’s stooges wreaking havoc, terror, and murder. From school teachers, to small business owners, to clergy, to local politicians, to activists (full-time and part-time), to neighbors, all the way to random pedestrians (like Alex Pretti), Minnesotans showed up and are still showing up. (At last count, ICE still has 650 people on the ground there.) Those people fought back against Noem’s invasion. They are supporting each other in their hour of need. And I would say that they have COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED TRUMP through their collective stiff upper lip, their collective action, and their collective… good humor.
Exhibit A of Minnesotans Good Humor
One group of folks who has DEFINITELY showed up for their fellow Minnesotans are veterans. As I was coming to the end of my first day in the Twin Cities, we drove past what looked to be a protest outside of a government building in Minneapolis. We quickly pulled over and made our way to the assembled group. I would guess that it was somewhere around 50 people huddled together. From the signs they were holding we learned that they were veterans. Many were part of a group named Veterans For Peace. I later learned that this was Chapter 27 of the nationwide organization, and their slogan is, “Working to abolish war since 1985.”
Now that’s some good sloganeering!
The vets were waiting for one of their fellow vets, Ian Austin, to be released from detention. Ian had been scooped up in the same arrest that had snagged Don Lemon and Georgia Fort (who I talked to in Episode 2). They were all “guilty” of exercising their freedom of speech and freedom of assembly. Ian’s case had not made the national news vortex like Don Lemon’s arrest had, but Ian still had a lot of support. He emerged from the building shortly after we arrived. There were cheers and hugs like he had just returned form his deployment. It says a lot that these days, when an American citizen is illegally detained by the American police, we can’t be sure that the American citizen is going to make it out alive.
Everyone on the scene told me that I should talk to Ian. Ian was on a phone talking to someone who I assumed was his lawyer or advisor. Many of the vets recognized me and were trying to encourage Ian to talk to me. I was encouraging them not to push him too hard. I had no idea what he had just been through, and I certainly didn’t want to come off like some headline-chasing journalist. I have also learned over the course of my career that the best interviews start with someone who actually wants to talk to you. Marie Purcell wanted to talk to me.
Marie is self-described oddball and a veteran who comes from a military family—a family from whom she is currently estranged. After serving two tours of duty in Iraq, Marie left the military as a conscientious objector in 2008. This choice and her subsequent activism are part of why she is currently estranged from her family. But Marie has no intention of slowing down in her fight to abolish war. She was recently made the President of Chapter 27 of Veterans For Peace. As I have learned to do, I started our conversation by thanking Marie for her military service. She quickly and gently corrected me:
“This is the service. That’s what I tell people. You can thank me for my sacrifice when I was in the military, but now that I’m out, and I’m actually confronting the moral injury, the only way to heal moral injury is to do the work to reverse the harm.”
BOOM! And with that, I knew I had found a good person to talk to.
Marie rapidly explained the role of Veterans For Peace generally and in this moment. VP sees themselves as having a significant role on the frontlines to stand in opposition and as observers of ICE, CBP, the police, the sheriff’s department, and whoever else in the streets disrupting and violating peoples’ civil and human rights. Marie walked the walk that she was talking. She had been detained herself during the ICE invasion. Marie also said that VP has a responsibility to take care of their fellow veterans who were traumatized and worse during their time in the military and are being further traumatized by these arrests in Minnesota. Marie talked about a vet friend of hers named Noah. Marie described Noah as a “vulnerable person.” Noah was also detained by our government. Marie used the phrase “particularly devastating” to talk about Noah’s release from detainment.
I had one big question for Marie. I am a person who could never imagine willingly joining the military or even becoming a police officer because of how I was raised to distrust American governmental authority. I wanted to know how Marie squared the circle of being on opposite sides of United States law enforcement. In theory, they are all supposed to be on the same side. Marie got surprisingly hopeful when I brought that up. She said:
“I’m just waiting for all of these agents, or at least some of them, to begin stepping out of ranks and saying, ‘No, I’m not going to participate in this.’”
Admittedly, after all I have seen these days, I have difficult time imagining that, but I’m also not a person with the experience, expertise, bravery, and leadership skills of Marie. She’s the kind of president that I could truly get behind. And I’m not just talking about the presidency of Veterans For Peace Chapter 27. I’d much rather this ocuntry be led by Marie than the guy we got, an historically unpopular president who, less than a week ago, started an illegal war that is already unpopular and has already cost American lives. I only have one question.
WHO’S WITH MARIE?
Marie’s Friend and Fellow Vet Noah has a GoFundMe
From Noah’s GoFundMe…
Noah is a father, peace activist, volunteer medic, and Army veteran who has been serving communities under siege in Minnesota. While acting as a protective presence and shielding others from state violence, he was detained in a targeted attack by Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office, resulting in a brain injury and other physical trauma-related consequences. The impact is ongoing: loss of income, new needs for medical and therapeutic care, and the material realities of healing after violence. Your mutual aid is about care—for Noah and for all the People. It is about time, rest, resources, and a healing journey that will always lead Noah back to serving this beloved community.
Any excess in funds will go directly back to mutual aid in the twin cities via donation to VFP chapter 27, who continue to provide invaluable support to their home community while continuing to receive and mobilize veterans willing to step back into service. Thank you.
Of course I have the trailer for the 1990 Captain America movie that stars J.D. Salinger’s son.
I’ll Be Adding More Stand-up Tour Dates Soon
Look out for announcements! Until then, these dates are still available.
April 17 North Bethesda, MD at The Music Center at Strathmore
April 30 San Francisco, CA at 10th Annual Comedy Night for Immigrant Rights
May 22-24 San Diego at The Mic Drop Comedy Club.
Yes, I had thoughts on the McDonald’s CEO thing
Kelly Rafferty’s Corner
A couple articles on today’s subject from Kelly’s new friends over at The Greater Good Science Center:
How to Recover After Acting Against Your Own Values
How Today's Righteous Violence Turns Into Tomorrow's Psychological Suffering
